Badly in Love:
Episodes 5–8

SPOILER NOTE: This article discusses events in episodes 5–8 of Badly in Love: Season 2.

Episodes five through eight of Badly in Love: Season 2 unfold in a way that feels unusually strange for a dating reality programme.

The romantic arrows are certainly moving. Several men find themselves circling Hikari. Ruru receives attention from more than one man. Mā-kun and Assun’s relationship begins to move forwards.

And yet, once the episodes are over, the question that lingers is not, “Who is going to end up with whom?” What remains instead is something more fundamental:

Did these people actually come here to fall in love in the first place?

The conflict between the men and women that rises to the surface across episodes five to eight is not really a straightforward battle of men versus women. At its core is a different collision: between people who want to move towards the future and people who first want their past to be understood; between people who want to reach a conclusion and people who still need to process what they feel.

Awich captures that gap with one particularly sharp observation:

“This is a battle between people who want a relationship and people who want to overcome their trauma.”

Seen through that line, the real identity of Badly in Love: Season 2 becomes much clearer. This is not simply a programme about people being transformed through romance. It is a programme that applies the pressure of romance and watches what happens: whether someone is still being governed by the past, or whether they have finally become capable of making a different choice.

The Battle of the Sexes Is Not a War Between Logic and Emotion

Across episodes five to seven, conflict repeatedly develops between the men and women, particularly around Hikari and Maririn. At first glance, the men appear rational whilst the women appear emotional.

The men argue: “Tell us clearly who you like.” “Take responsibility for what you said.” “Let’s decide what happens from here.” The women respond: “I still can’t decide how I feel.” “My past means I cannot simply change overnight.” “Try to understand why that person became this way in the first place.”

Taken in isolation, the whole thing could easily be reduced to the tired formula that men are logical and women are emotional. But that is not really what is happening. If anything, the men want to process emotion quickly. The women want to process emotion completely.

The difference is not whether emotion exists. It is the speed at which each side believes emotion can be dealt with. For the men, once a discussion has taken place, the problem has been identified and some kind of conclusion has been reached, the matter can be considered finished. For the women, a logical conclusion does not necessarily mean the experience is over. If the emotion has not caught up with the conclusion, the wound is still there.

That is why, in episode seven, Ruru becomes angry when she hears the men joking around after the group discussion. For the men, it is already “something we sorted out”. For Ruru, it is “something that still hurts”. That discrepancy is fundamental.

There are at least two forms of problem-solving in human relationships. One is to establish rules that prevent the same problem from happening again. The other is to carry an injured emotion far enough that the person who was hurt can genuinely make sense of what happened. If you do only the former, people may experience you as correct but cold. If you do only the latter, a problem may never truly end.

Badly in Love: Season 2 shows, with uncomfortable clarity, that relationships require both. The real question behind the battle of the sexes is therefore not whether men and women are incapable of understanding one another. It is a conflict over what comes first in a relationship: being right, or being understood.

The Moment Being “Right” Becomes Violent

The situation surrounding Maririn is particularly revealing. Because of her experience working in nightlife, Maririn has developed habits of flattering people, lifting them up and using affectionate language. The men point out that this behaviour can easily create romantic misunderstanding. Their conclusion is simple: “You should probably stop doing that.”

Logically, they are not wrong. But Ruru feels uneasy about the way the issue is framed. Maririn did not develop these behaviours as part of some calculated plan to deceive people. They are social techniques she acquired whilst surviving the life she has lived: keeping people in a good mood, adapting herself to whoever is in front of her, behaving in ways that make rejection less likely.

To someone raised in a stable environment, these habits can look like people-pleasing or trying to be liked by everyone. In an unstable home, or within violent relationships, however, the same behaviour can become a survival strategy. So telling someone simply to “stop doing it” may sound straightforward from the outside, but changing that behaviour may not be remotely as easy as changing clothes.

This is one of the most important perspectives in Badly in Love: Season 2. Sometimes a person’s problematic behaviour exists because, at some point in their past, it was rational. That does not mean the past becomes an excuse for everything they do in the present. There may be a reason. And if the behaviour hurts somebody now, it may still need to change. Both statements have to be held at the same time.

One of the strengths of Badly in Love: Season 2 is watching the participants attempt, in their own language, to find that extremely difficult middle ground.

Romance Has Become a Test, Not a Rescue

In the conventional dating reality narrative, a wound from the past is healed by romantic love. “I went through all of this, but meeting you taught me how to trust people again.” It is an extremely familiar structure. Badly in Love: Season 2 seems increasingly reluctant to use it.

One of Ruru’s most significant moments of healing does not come through romance at all. It comes through a telephone call to her mother. Having grown up within a complicated family environment, Ruru listens to Kazukun speak about his regrets concerning his late father. That conversation makes her realise that some things should be said whilst there is still time to say them. She calls her mother and expresses her gratitude. No romantic male partner mediates that moment.

Maririn is not rescued by a man either. Through her relationship with Ruru and Assun, and through conversations with people from the local community, she begins to experience something more basic: being accepted.

This matters enormously when thinking about what this season is doing. Badly in Love: Season 2 is strikingly cautious about the idea that romance saves people. If anything, it suggests the opposite. Unless a person has reached some degree of recovery within themselves, maintaining a healthy romantic relationship becomes extremely difficult. If you ask a partner to heal every wound you carry, the relationship can begin to move towards dependence or control.

Seen this way, romance in Badly in Love: Season 2 is not treatment. It is closer to an examination. Can someone who has repeatedly experienced relationships involving domestic violence choose differently next time? Can someone who struggles to trust people take the risk of trusting somebody? Can someone accustomed to resolving conflict through violence learn to resolve it with words? Can someone who has historically become fixated on a partner allow that partner to make their own choice?

A romantic relationship exposes where somebody currently stands. That is why, in this season, the important questions are not only who kisses whom or who confesses first. Can they wait? Can they apologise? Can they survive rejection without collapsing? It is a dating programme in which dating itself is not the final destination. That inverted structure may be the most interesting thing about the season.

Does Hikari Represent Someone Who Is Not Yet Ready for Love?

From this perspective, Hikari becomes a particularly important figure. Several men approach her, yet she struggles to choose one. From the outside, that behaviour can look as though she is keeping multiple options open, and there are moments when inconsistencies in what she has said create further tension. But Hikari’s problem does not seem reducible to simple indecision. It appears that she has not yet fully established what she herself wants.

Who does she like most? Who does she want to date? Before either of those questions comes another: Does she genuinely want to be in a relationship right now? Those questions have not yet been placed in the correct order.

The men, meanwhile, want an answer: “Is it me or not?” And so the people who want to move the romance forwards collide with the person who is still trying to understand herself. That is why Hikari’s ambiguity cannot be dismissed simply as the behaviour of a villainous woman playing games. Instead, she embodies one of the programme’s central questions in its most explicit form: At what point does a wounded person become ready for romance?

The dating reality format demands that participants “fall in love” almost from the moment they arrive. Human psychology is considerably less obedient to television formatting. That tension gives Badly in Love: Season 2 its peculiar sense of reality.

Why Ruru’s Call to Her Mother Becomes More Powerful Than the Romance

One of the most memorable moments across episodes five to eight is Ruru’s call to her mother. After hearing Kazukun speak about his regrets surrounding his late father, Ruru reaches a simple conclusion: if there is something you need to say, it is better to say it whilst you still can. So she calls her mother and expresses her gratitude.

The importance of the scene lies in more than the fact that it is moving. It is the moment in which Badly in Love: Season 2 steps away from one of romance television’s most familiar fantasies: salvation through romantic love. Ruru has LEO. Taichan and Kazukun are also drawn towards her. Yet the interaction that produces the greatest internal shift is not a confession from a man. It is a conversation with her mother.

The wound from the past is not filled by romance. Instead, a small part of it begins to heal because Ruru returns to the relationship in which that emotional history was formed and looks at it again. That difference matters. A romantic partner cannot become a replacement parent. The more someone asks a lover to fill the space left by a parent who failed to love them in the way they needed, the heavier that romantic relationship becomes.

Badly in Love: Season 2 takes this surprisingly seriously. At times, it becomes possible to wonder whether the real theme of the programme is not romance at all, but attachment.

Parents.
Friends.
Partners.
Companions.

The participants are rebuilding, within communal life, the kinds of relationships that allow a person to feel: I am allowed to be here.

What Maririn Needs May Be a Place to Belong Before She Needs a Lover

Maririn’s story follows a similar pattern. Throughout her life, romance and violence have existed dangerously close together. As a result, she has developed the habit of monitoring other people’s moods and trying to make them happy. What she gains during episodes five to eight is not an ideal man. First, she gains female friends.

The misunderstanding between Maririn, Ruru and Assun begins to clear, allowing Maririn to experience what it feels like to be believed. Then, through a conversation with a local resident, Hentona-san, she hears that she must first learn to love herself and that even failures can eventually become experience.

Once again, what she needs first is not a lover. She needs somewhere capable of saying: Welcome home.

This encapsulates the programme’s idea of recovery. One destined romantic partner does not put a human being back together. Many small relationships do.

Friends.
Family.
Community.
Companions.

Romantic love can then exist on top of that foundation. Salvation is not concentrated in a single lover. For a dating reality programme, that structure feels remarkably fresh.

“Women Are More Manly Than Men” — The Strange Reversal After the Battle

Then, in episode seven, Kazukun almost perfectly verbalises the value system that has been developing throughout the season.

“Women are more manly than men, aren’t they?”

The line matters. But it does not simply mean that the women have stronger personalities. In Badly in Love: Season 2, many of the virtues once culturally assigned to old-fashioned masculinity are being practised most actively by the women.

Making decisions.
Taking action.
Protecting friends.
Speaking directly.
Accepting responsibility.

These are behaviours historically tied to ideas such as “manliness”, toughness and being a proper otoko. Yet it is women such as Ruru who embody them most forcefully. Ruru is particularly symbolic. If she disagrees with something, she says so directly. If somebody she cares about is hurt, she steps forwards. If she realises she was wrong, she apologises. If she feels she should thank her mother, she makes the call there and then.

Even in romance, she asks men to communicate more openly: “If you like someone, say it.” “If you mean it, show some emotion.” The men, meanwhile, often think. They hesitate. They consider how their friends will react. They calculate timing. And the women respond: stop thinking about acting and actually act. The traditional gender script has almost completely reversed.

Badly in Love Is Not Destroying the Idea of “Manliness”. It Is Rewriting It

What makes this especially interesting is that the programme never arrives at the conclusion that masculinity itself is unnecessary. If anything, the concept of being a proper otoko — a man with courage, responsibility and spirit — remains important. What changes is the definition.

Traditional masculinity was often associated with: not crying, not showing weakness, never backing away from a fight, protecting women. But this programme begins to reconstruct the idea around something else.

You may cry.
You may hesitate.
You may speak openly about weakness.
But you do not run from your responsibility.
You do not run from someone you have hurt.
If you are wrong, you apologise.
If you make a decision, you act on it.

In other words, the programme does not reject masculinity. It extracts violence and domination from it and attempts to rebuild what remains. That is one of the most fascinating things Badly in Love: Season 2 is doing.

For people who have grown up close to violence, simply telling them to abandon their entire value system may never reach them. But saying “A real man can apologise.” “A real man does not run from responsibility.” changes the meaning of familiar language from within their own cultural vocabulary. It is not the importation of an entirely new ideology. It is an internal redefinition.

The Women Are Not Strong Because They Have Become Men. Care Itself Has Become Strength

Look a little further and another reason for the women’s apparent strength begins to emerge. It is not simply that they are forceful. The women are often better at reading what other people are feeling. Ruru asks why Maririn is hurt. Assun notices subtle changes in relationships. Maririn herself monitors the emotions of others almost excessively.

Socially, these capacities tend to be labelled “consideration” or “empathy”, and are often treated as separate from leadership. In Badly in Love: Season 2, however, they become a force capable of moving the entire group.

Knowing who is hurt.
Knowing who remains unconvinced.
Knowing when a surface-level reconciliation is not enough.
Trying to understand why someone became the person they are.

The ability to care becomes a form of power. That is why the women look strong. It is not because “women have become men”. It is because qualities traditionally coded as feminine — empathy and care — are now being recognised as forms of strength. At the same time, the women also display decisiveness and a willingness to act, qualities historically coded as masculine. Of course they look powerful. They have both.

The Men Are Not Learning to Become Feminine. They Are Learning How to Handle Emotion

The men are changing too. Early in the season, Taichan is criticised by the women for failing to respond properly to someone else’s feelings. Gradually, he begins to move towards expressing what he actually feels. Mā-kun writes a letter. Alee cries. LEO holds Alee as he breaks down. Bō refuses to rush Hikari into a conclusion. Kazukun realises that he has a tendency to over-rationalise everything, and decides that he must stop merely thinking and start acting.

Within an older model of masculinity, some of these behaviours might have been dismissed as “unmanly”. Here, they are framed as maturity. The men are not becoming women. They are acquiring a greater capacity to work with emotion.

At the same time, the women are displaying action and decisiveness. Each side is beginning to acquire abilities traditionally assigned to the other gender. As that happens, the distinction between “male” and “female” roles begins to matter less than a different question: How mature is this person as a human being?

Can Falling in Love and Healing Old Wounds Coexist?

Which brings us back to the question in the title. Can falling in love and healing old wounds happen at the same time? Judging by episodes five to eight, the answer seems to be: Yes. But it becomes difficult when you expect romance itself to heal the wound for you.

Romance can reveal the wound. Being attracted to someone can expose what you are afraid of. Jealousy and rejection can pull old injuries back to the surface. But the person who heals them cannot be the lover alone.

Healing might come through reconciliation with family. It might come through friendship. It might come from one sentence spoken by somebody in the local community. It might come from learning to narrate your own past differently. Romance can accelerate that recovery. It cannot do the work in your place.

At this point, Badly in Love: Season 2 feels less like a dating reality programme and more like an experiment in human relationships that happens to use romance as its apparatus. More important than who ends up together is: who continues to repeat the same behaviour because of the past? Who becomes capable of making a different choice? Who learns to accept themselves before demanding that somebody else love them?

That is where the real drama now lies. And after the battle between the men and women, even the programme’s definition of strength appears to be changing. Strength is not the ability to hit someone. Nor does strength belong only to the person who can make the most logically correct argument. It belongs to the person who can understand someone else’s emotions, still say what needs to be said, apologise when they are wrong and ultimately take action. That person is the real otoko.

Which is why Kazukun’s remark — “Women are more manly than men.” — captures so much of this season. Although perhaps even that is not quite accurate. The women have not simply become more masculine. What Badly in Love: Season 2 is beginning to do is liberate “manliness” itself from gender.

The battle between the men and women in episodes five to eight may therefore have been necessary. Not because one side needed to defeat the other. But because an old definition of strength had to collide with a new one before the programme could move forwards.

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EDITED BY ELIELI (Eli Vlue)
VLUER / CULTURE OBSERVATORY